I was encouraged to keep a journal during this parsha. For reflection, assessment and clarity. Or as my sisters thank me for- for stamm entertainment, after all it's always nice to learn through someone else's story. And apparently I wanted stories. A trilogy even. “Adventures in Shidduchim” volumes 1,2 and 3.  

InItially I flip through the pages and it’s with an underlying calm, content glow- but as I  sit in the basement, in the same chair that I penned many a “Dear Esther Date #4 Yerachmiel G…” the emotions return. Some of these are of sheer relief, intermingled with the joy of clarity.  Like how could I of thought he was shayich? We were completely incompatible, now even more so when you see who we are each engaged to, respectively. I flip a few more pages and come to Pinny M., wow he was a really great guy, wasn't shayich, but maybe he’d be good for… I make a mental note to call the shadchan who redt it, and suggest Pinny for my friend Fraidy, they would be very “the type”, interesting how I didnt think of this before…?

20 Chat GPT prompts I’m using to make life more enjoyable; not functional, not efficient, just gooder.

Remember the more articulate you are the better the results.

In the Era of R&R and Self Care 2.0 #ThisIsHowWeDoIt

True Colors: A Journey from Brunette to Blondeish and Back Again

Life is a journey of self-discovery, where we navigate through various phases and experiments. I remember the impulsive yet calculated decision to color my hair like it was yesterday, while in Aruba with my mother and sister, a colorist pointed to my mothers honey hues and stressed that her colors would be well suited on me.

I figured when in Aruba…plus the vibrancy of the blue ocean left me pining for my own take home souvenir of color. This hair transformation would lead me on a profound path of self-reflection, ultimately taking me back to my roots - both literally and figuratively.

Focus is finite; when a person talks on the phone while driving, they lose 37% motor focus.

My mechanic recently asked me (all life lessons happen in the auto shop) how my radio is doing, “because that’s all you need, a good engine and a great playlist, but don’t be busy switching songs constantly: it’s not good for the nerves, and even worse for the road, let the songs play out and get lost in the tune.”

I came across the quote, "go laugh in the places you've cried, change the narrative."

It struck me, but it didn't hit until I was turning over my winter to summer wardrobe. Clothes were in transition, but the feelings associated with each piece weren't so seasonal.

Migrating to sunny Maimi after leaving my “insert Director of, full-time role, HERE" is a bright band-aid to a tough decision.

Leaving a job that isn’t working (no pun) is one of the most liberating, albeit crippling, feelings.

The feeling of liberation happens instantaneously; from the moment I officially “left” at noon that final Friday and inserted my keys into the ignition, I felt lighter and free.

The word potent itself is robust, full overflowing, almost phonesthemic.

Its infinite potential is dual. Anything can or can’t happen. And by anything, toss a coin in the air, while it's midair the outcome you subconsciously want can be equated to your anything.

Sometimes the tread for that elusive consistency is what yields the most significant inertia.

If life doesn't go like the proverbial hamster wheel- there's still the opportunity to propel forward, albeit through an alternate venue.

On cold nights I can still go on the treadmill. Same for off-hours, the after-party to nosh-binges sessions, and post any activity that can use a productive burnout.

There are many parallels between buying a car and finding your "person," not to be melodramatic, but hear me out.

I had my car criteria. Something with character, not the standard lease du jour, leather interior, sunroof if preferable, Sedan small yet sturdy- luxuryish but not German and a demure yet not typical color.

Sometimes change is a result of negative motivation (e.g., a snide remark about weight is what causes you to commit to a plan full force, or someone challenges you “that who are you to judge you barely do “XYZ,” or even recognizing that situations that shouldn’t be as stressful as they are, seem to be a never-ending danger zone.)

And sometimes change is motivated by positive affirmations- when someone reflects that you look amazing and that whatever regimen you’re doing shows, this can be a motivator to excel. It’s not always about physical, but from a spiritual and literal standpoint, may a time the chitzoniyus does reflect the pnimiyus, and if you feel good and at peace internally, you have the mojo to reflect that in how you appear, care, and carry yourself.

This was when I discovered E.Q./emotional intelligence. A perfect example of someone who is factually brainy but lacks E.Q. is a doctor, graduated with honors from a top Ivy League medical school, is pursuing his Ph.D. on the theory of "" and positively lacks the emotional empathy of proper bedside manners. Not that anyone is bad- just when it comes to "dealing with people," there is a chip missing—a lack of emotional intelligence.

Nothing gets me out of bed Friday morn like Spotify’s “made for you” new music Friday playlist. That feeling you get when discovering a new “it song” and you lose yourself in message and melody is what Grammy goals are made of.

On the first day of a new beginning, I got several pings.

"Congrats on the new job," "Good luck today, and not just cuz it's Monday and frigid," "They won't know what hit em," "Don't worry if this doesn't work out…ehh, make it work."

"Kol haschalos kashos - All beginnings are difficult."

Things go down, and it's so important to know when to get up and say, thank you, it's been a night. Even if you leave to the trail of "Rebbitzen, why are you cutting the night short"…because I don't want to wake up tomorrow with a different kind of hangover. One that stems from the inner consciousness.

"That's a nice looking vehicle you got there" has never been my mindset.; I notice shoes, a purse, a new pair of spectacles. But a car? That's one for the boys, or at least those girls who know the difference between a Honda and a Hummer.

But recently, a need for speed has been on my mind. Don't get me wrong, those pre and post-work powerwalks are invigorating, but maybe it's timing or just general right of passage vibes, but suddenly I wanted a vehicle of my own.

Sure thing, is not my go-to line when it hits home. ראש השנה evokes every feeling. Fear, hope, gratitude, angst, pain, confusion, hope again. It's crazy to think that our stories were carefully crafted and intertwined with those who would play leading roles last year when we were all davening.

"Written in the Stars" - What does that mean truly? We know that Klal Yisroel is above the Mazalos, and if this is the case, how can we say that zodiac signs have any influence on our lives? So the answer is Both – We have mazalos set in place and tendencies that go with each. However, Klal Yisroel is above mazalos, and therefore it is not definite to play out in a specific way; everything is min Hashamayim, and the way things are supposed to play out will play out however G-d in His infinite wisdom decides that they should.

According to Kabbalistic sources, the months and their corresponding elements are as follows:

It’s so hard to stay motivated at a time when it feels like the world is our oyster, and at the same time, you feel stuck in a shell. It’s not the actual quarantine, but the quarantine mindset.
My favorite line ever is Emma Watson’s rebuttal to “what is your greatest fear?” “unfulfilled potential.”

SUMMER 2020. what's on your beach read booklist? Everything from BUSINESS to SELF HELP/LEARNING/FICTION TO NONFICTION.

Get ready to get LIT

To quote my grandmother, “nothing is ever all good or all bad,” there is always a bit of both intermingled within. The story is never black and white, grey isn’t a cop-out color. Grey is silver and timeless.

Those walks, at first, my primary form of pound the pavement solace, because they provided a semblance of "the way we were" (there were days I'd walk to and from work)…were now making me dizzy. The mask, I've come to realize is a basic form of common respect, it shows that you are mature and don a sense of achrayis for the current climate. But the mask was making it hard to breathe.

Take care. Of yourself, your family, protect your inner world. Yes, your mind, and she's mental ;). Self-talk and self-care should be the defining terms of 2020. Don't let Corona let you get down.

I find the drive is smoother on cruise control when life is going as planned, seamless.

The roads are clear and a minor swerve just keeps things interesting. But when life comes to a shortstop? Do you still have faith in the elusive cruise control?

There’s something tangible and intangible about January; it follows New Year’s, yes, but the season has something unique to it. Snowflakes. Shoveling snow and complaining even though secretly this is the most fun you’ve had all Fall long J

It’s not about clothes, mint- the ice princess vibes.

Winter is a Wonderland. The nights are long, as they are cozy.

Shut your phone off for the next 8 hours. Whatever you do- whether it's an excursion, a solo trip, spa time …you'll feel like you're giving yourself something just by disconnecting. Plus it's so much cooler to be 'back online' #IhaveaLife

 Offer to watch a niece/nephew/Lil cuzzin. Their exuberance will permeate

Take five minutes of daily #attitudeofgratitude journaling; this will shift your entire mindset.

Certain clothes/dinner/activity excursions could've been toned down. The WSJ isn't setting you back, and neither is the minute pitching in for the household. If you watch a little, you'll see it balance out. It's all a matter of priority.

How you choose to spend your time and who you decided to share it with.

There are friends we tell ourselves it's the "long-distance"/ different stages, so we lost touch. 

When it’s your first time anywhere (think Kosherfest first time coma :) You don’t know what to expect, so by default, you’re in for a whirlwind. I did attend last year’s JFM Conference, so I had what to compare it to (disclaimer the standard of #swag expected was set high) and this year’s lineup, as well as influencers in attendance and general food fest, was everything and more. Always a plus is meeting like minded insta friends IRL and discovering they are just like the persona they depict, only taller and just MORE.

I tell myself I want certain things for fear of always looking over my shoulder and finding that pursuit "elsewhere."

That game at carnivals? Where you hit as hard as you can, and the pinger levels up to a measly midpoint? But you win a stuffed animal either way…you get my point.

Home= Content. Confident. Cozy.

Home is something we create within ourselves.

The feat of embarking on a diet is as much mental as it is physical. I will probably never be one of those people who profess sugar is terrible and #offcarbs. I've yo-yoed enough to know that at the end of the day, it is always about moderation, including moderation. There is a time to eat birthday cake. And not only on your own.

#Makeup #Musthaves

Makeup isn't a cover up, it's a mode of enhancing what’s already there, a lil highlighter just adds some iridescence to a beautiful smile. Nothing is as beautiful as eyes that are alive and engaged- some well applied liner and mascara is just the base to coat, so to speak. A demure sweep of blush coupled with a contouring swipe of bronzer provides the framework for an already beautiful canvas. And lipstick? What do they say about a lady in the right shade of red? Watch your step.

London and Paris I was coming for you. 

The adventure started in London. Big Ben, Buckingham, and Harrods were the classic allures, but I didn't realize quite how charming England can be.

Hats off the Uber drivers right off the bat; if you want to plan a fantastic trip- sans before takeoff plans, hop into an Uber. The locals are more than happy to share their country loves. 

In Brit fashion, I was equipped to go to the most smashing pubs and clubs London has to offer; fancy yourself a Guinness?

 Food is a euphemism for higher components. Think about it, would a fast be over without a thick slice of Kokesh? Am I truly a year older sans birthday cake? And does the dawn dare break before I've had some jolting java? Food represents the nature of life, and it is one of our greatest gifts, of course, everything in moderation, including moderation ;) I'm talking to you, chocolate soufflé.

As if you needed a reason…there’s always something to smile about- TRY TO READ THIS AND NOT START TO SMILE. Smile and laugh more often because the brain does not know the difference between a fake and real smile. If you're feeling down or notice that you've not smiled in a while, fake one. The more often you fake a smile, the more likely smiling will become a more natural habit. Think of it as your daily dose of vitamin D or a cup of jolting java…15-second smile intervals should be part of the wellbeing routine.

Today is July 4th, 2023. I remember July 4th, 2022 and 2021 like it was yesterday. Both were magical because we made it such. July 4th, 2019, my friends and I trekked to the city for some quality overnight :). How we managed to get hotel reservations in Times Square for the 4th of July is a miracle in itself, not to mention our room upgrade.

Last July 4th, was spent in the city as well; we made the fireworks by a few seconds. I remember running; chasing those lights…because I was pursuing something spectacular, to harbor light, when there isn't something explosive going on.

 I knew the Rebbitzen was in town for this week; staying a mere few blocks away from where I work. In the same vein, I understood that one doesn’t get a meeting without a hefty dose of Protektzia. This is where my father comes in.  As I’m out with friends on a random Monday night, my father called me to let me know that I would be meeting with the Rebbitzen tonight. Mind you it was 10 pm at this point. “Ta is this forreallll?” I was on a phone-watch standstill for the next 45 minutes.

First, what is the difference between a single variety wine and a blend? A wine made with a single variety grape is known as a varietal wine and wine made from a few different grapes is a blend. There are several thousand different kinds of wine grapes, e.g. chardonnay, pinot noir and cabernet, so it’s no wonder that people keep coming out with different blends. Get ready to find something to wine about here

Yiddeshe Kups have a way of tapping into things before it’s even a #thing. Like our mothers have been breeding us since inception, it’s all about optimizing; ringing every opportunity dry until we’ve maximized. If something is free, we take two, and technology is no exception.

 When I was contemplating phone plans, I decided I was going to be that person. A marketer by profession while still maintain technological integrity. I would not succumb to the WhatsApp pressures on my phone (work phone #yasss.)

It's easier to sweep things under the rug; "let's not and say we did," "why go there" "you're uber analyzing...these are "normal" issues...why bring it up?!" But these conversations are what makes us inherently stronger and more fortified for what's next. People don't hit the high notes without practicing the soprano...you have to push yourself to the maximum octave. Read the full post here

Allow me to pose Mr. Shakespeare's acclaimed brilliance, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." True or False? The other day I left my house skipping. My neighbor saw the abundant bouquet of pink peonies I was trekking; (somehow when things have a beautiful intrinsic value they don't seem as heavy:) Flowers promote such depth; like eyes, flowers have the power to convey innermost feelings without saying a word. Read the full post here

A good morning starts the night before. Many a Monday, when I awake to the usual grog and decidedly roll over onto the other side, in hopes that this will yield the elusive “better side of the bed” feeling...I want to kick myself that I didn't go to sleep the night before with an apt 7.5-8 hours of sleep. The amount of sleep a person requires is to each his own, (according to the National Sleep Foundation; the optimal duration of sleep for adults is between 7-9 hours). I know as your reading this you're probably yawning, so I'm going to break it down SSIMPLE. Read the full breakdown here

Shattered glass is apropos imagery for clarity. When there’s a perception of how things “could've been,” the way we were ;)…it all seemed so “clear,” and then it’s not, a conglomerate of fragmented feelings is what ensues, shattered glass. When you are convinced this is a good opportunity it’s hard to play devils advocate and convince yourself otherwise- of course it’s nice when the decision is made for you- the opportunities that were out of my hands were much easier to get over than the ones where the decision was seemingly my own.

Pressure cookers are a funny thing. They get things done, fast. Before you know whats hit you- a change is underway. You feel the heat, and it’s a sink or swim opportunity, because only dead fish float. This challenge isn’t something you would’ve chosen for yourself, probably not even something you would wish upon that friend- because once you’re going through this challenge, it seems almost unbearable, and the newness of this situation compounds the emotional turmoil exponentially. No one should be a “pro” at going through rough times, so when it hits, it hits us hard in a way that we have to change, and rise to the occasion. Occasion, I love how we turn a challenging situation into an “event” as if going through something challenging during Fall can be deemed as “the event of the season.” Read the full post here

"So can we count on you to speak at our incoming Freshman Open House?." Gulp. I was deemed “the marketing one” albeit an honor, it still left me feeling uneasy. I'm that person that will raise my hand and say, confidently, “I can do it” however when push comes to shove. I can't respectably speak in public. My eyes seem to pick that one wall spot, and if I do make eye contact, it's with one person, almost as if I've imprinted for the duration of the probably less then five-minute speech that feels like forevveeerrrr. The ability to compose a good talk is a gift, one that is often the brains behind many a gifted orator, but the ability to deliver is almost like a performance, it's a feat. I've been to many a speech/presentation to at least know the key ingredients for what makes a great speech. Read how you can best project here

Like many a milestone, a first “real job” can be overwhelming. Adulting does have its perks, one of the more intricate facets in financial planning, or “putting away money for later,” “reserving” as Mr. Ariel Serber, of Lions Financial, so diplomatically states I took Principles of Finance, I read the WSJ (okay the front page), but boy was I in for an eye-opener. Financial planning can seem so complicated, yet with the right guidance and some personal savvy, after all, you have to know something to understand what to inquire about. This is your 2019 jump right it into the vast spectrum of “reserving money for later.”

I've wanted to attend Kosherfest ever since I discovered a career minded foodie is an actual thing. Last year this time, I was relishing to go as a spectator; to no avail. This year I’m fortunate to attend on a dual side of the coin, a member of a brilliant marketing team that targets Kosher Food Brands. I guess regarding full circle, I've come a (kosher) bagel? With the everything topping, please. The Kosherfest trilogy started with Mondays’ Jewish Food Media Conference kickoff. I was so excited to meet all the Instagram personalities IRL, and collect some quality swag (bag ;) Read about the Kosherfest Trifecta here

Decision making based on gut instinct is never easy; it’s like a steaming latte topped with dusty espresso. The first few sips are bitter and hot; leaving you uncomfortable and hesitant to continue further, but then you let the mug rest, and cool. When you take another sip, the bitter aftertaste has left a mocha haze mingled with creamy milk…in the rich warmth you find solace in your decision. Okay, so now that we compartmentalized gut decision making with something light and frothy, let’s get real. Deciding because you can FEEL in hindsight this won’t be a good opportunity; however, you can’t put your finger on the actual why is HARD. Learn to Go With Your Gut Here

Sometimes we are endowed with a member of our close circles, who are there, cause they are close and familial, or someone we have to correspond with daily (crazy car ride companions, coworkers, clients- 3 c's of crazy ;) but they are in pain and transcend that pain onto others. It hurts, to wholly comprehend the internal struggle they are battling.

At first, you want to curry their favor. Maybe they're going through an extra hard time right now with x,y,z,…let me be extra sensitive/patient/giving/forgiving.

But then you realize this rollercoaster keeps going up and then drops without notice. Then it keeps on falling, and it's dark. I don't know why amusement parks have such a positive connotation, all I keep thinking of is clowns, pseudo mirrors, projected noises, rickety roller coasters, and a haunted house. Shudder.

I came across the quote “loving yourself is worth the risk” to me it’s perceived as, if there is a situation in which you need clarity, and you do what a girls gotta do, even if the outcome wasn’t “according to plan” the clarity that ensues is a priceless gift you have bestowed upon yourself. Meaning, put yourself out there if the opportunity is a “No,” you can leave the situation scot-free and know that you tried. Till today I’m so grateful for the inertia I had when I was in a position in which I figured it was worth it to put myself out there.

Sometimes we all need a little extra MondayMotivation. I’m not talking about Mondays in the literal sense but rather as an adjective. You know those days/scenarios/people that are just so Monday? I think this is why we start out each day with a coffee, (or at least those of us who like to think of ourselves as sane do Venti.) It’s a Mussar Haskel for life. In that strong, dark brew you have the ability to add a splash of creamer, some suga’ and customize it to your preference. Whether you keep it dark or show your mug a latte love, the caffeine will deliver the same jolt, but the experience is in your hands. Let's motivate Right Now

Because stress can be...stressful. For the times we could use a bit of TLC, here are my quickie de-stressors, e.g., #2: Flex those muscles, a.k.a Stretch. When life feels like it's pulling you limb from limb (metaphorically), combat this by stretching on your terms. Read the full list here

There's a reason one of the defining factors between an animal and a person is that one has the ability of choice. To act with intent is what separates humans from an animalistic nature. I think the ability to make decisions for oneself is the biggest blessing, and sometimes it can seem like the biggest curse. That's the struggle with being young, a decision made now can seem monumental, like deciding to work here or pursue this program, or even "Should I eat the cake?" sounds like it can impact a lifetime. However, it also must be put into perspective in the form of hishtadlus: yes, doing this internship will look great on a resume, but it won't guarantee access into the proverbial corporate door. Read the full list here.

I’ve realized that graduating isn’t something that happens by default, but rather something you can strive to achieve. If I were to write a letter to myself, circa May 23, 2017, this is what graduating truly entails. Analytics: Before you take an opportunity, do your homework. My mother often quotes Rabbi Avigdor Miller who said: “Look before you leap, but once you do make the most of it." Otherwise, it will lead to... Bounce Rate: Millennials are infamous for staying at a job for a short period and thinking they gave this position “the best years of their life.” I gleaned so much inspiration from Chaya's blog that sometimes it’s okay to leave a job or a challenging situation. Content: No, not creative content...Learn to be content. Trust me, I shun complacency, and I try to be healthy and - I call it realistic with a smidge of delusions of grandeur - content in every aspect of my career. Dynamic: Keep things interesting, don't stay stagnant, learn new skills whether they pertain to your field of career or interests. It's not about finding a job that's interesting to others but finding something that interests YOU. Read the rest here

Every girls got one. The wardrobe essential that empowers and fortifies. When I’m donned in anything from Banana Republic, it's like I’m wearing an extra coat of armor. I’m nowhere near an ambassador of the brand, but I am a fanatic of quality clothing that embodies empowerment. What's your coat of armor? Read mine here.

Read. The post that started it all "When I finally let go and decided to live in the moment, that's when I was granted my dream bag. If I'm going to leave Italy with a lesson du-jour, it's going to be to relax, and start living in the moment- whether I'm roaming in Europe or swiveling in my desk chair at work because when you least expect it, that's when the magic happens."

Graduating college means getting a “good job” and making it big…right? As an ad for a religious advertising agency once professed, “Be part of something bigger that makes a difference in the real world.” As if to say, staying within the confines of the “Jewish Working World” is second tier. Regardless, that was my initial thought process. Here I am, age 21, with a degree in marketing; it’s time to do something with my education, submit my resume to “real firms” and see where the wind blows. My first plan of action was to apply through company websites. I knew that if I wanted to work in the nonreligious world, and semi-sacrifice my religious integrity, it should be at a worthwhile company! It was a couple of weeks before I heard back from anyone... What Will You Gain When You Lose?

I basically got into Grad School with this one. Submitted to The New York Times writing competition as well :) Generation Y has earned a bad rep and for a good reason. “If it ain't broke can I still get an upgrade?” is the mentality of a millennial. We’re quick to dispose of, lack patience, tenacity, and discipline. In the same vein, we’re fast. We know we’re not smarter than previous generations, we’re just smart enough to know where to look. The rate at which we consume technology has accelerated, and we have adapted. I understand when people have qualms against my generation (yes, I’m taking ownership, if that means being part of the likes of the future Google, Facebook and Tesla founders, we are one). But we’re smarter than you give us credit. As a millennial, being smart does not connote to know it all. Intelligence in the 21st century is the ability to recognize what you need to learn, and the tenacity to master it. We’re hustlers. We may be the first to throw in the towel, but we’re also quick to bounce back. We see inhibition as an opportunity to conquer.

First Featured in Mishpacha Magazine; Dear (not so) little sister

Congratulations sis! It’s finally, "your time”.

I’m excited for what this year ahead will behold. The seminary experience is a privilege. It's an opportunity to build relationships with friends, mechanchos the families you will be fortunate to meet (vice Aversa) and most fundamentally a chance to nurture the relationship within yourself.

If I had an older sister, I'd want her to give me the "Aleph, Beis, Gimmels" of the seminary experience.